Why is everyone afraid of anger? I’m not talking about unchecked or violent anger. That is a whole different discussion and I am not discussing that here. This article is the every day anger. Anger is an emotion and emotions are indicators. Emotions tell us what our current state is.
Feeling anger is part of being human. Expressing anger is healthy. Even loud expression of anger is healthy. So what is this aversion to anger humans have to it? The problem is that anger is governed by the fire element and humans fear fire. The expression of this fire element ignites the fire element in those in others. That means that others have to look at their own actions.
When someone is angry, it is because something is not working for them and is hurting. Immediately when we feel someone’s anger, we know there is pain and just assume that it was caused by our own actions somehow. We move into defensiveness and since we are not ready to look at our own issues we dismiss the anger in others as wrong.
Most often, the pain the person is in is caused by internal messaging and rarely to do with another. All it takes is to listen to the person expressing to diffuse it. All it takes to help someone is to hear them. If it brings up emotions in yourself, it is best to look at them too afterwards.
Rather than fear the fire, see it as an opportunity to find a gift. The fire provides light and warmth. The fire can be transformed into something that you need. Embrace anger. Listen to yourself when you feel it. Listen to others when you hear it. Uncover a treasure.